REMINDER FOR DARK DAYS

"Stand back and accept.'...' Accept that you don't understand anything what is going on around you.'..'Accept that you have no way of even imagining what is happening. And accept your pain, too. And thank God for it.”

When life seems super dark and nothing makes sense, you need to understand two things; Firstly, I think its the acceptance and the understanding of the fact that you are the only person capable of bringing light in this darkness. There is no one who'd go out and fetch the lantern which will drive the darkness away.

Secondly, give it time without letting it affect you.

Your entire focus should be on the effort that while this wave passes, it affects me a minimum.

Don't waste your energy on trying to drive the darkness away first. You will do that but after it has taken its due time. You'll know when the time is right. That would be the time for you to take charge and fetch light and probably start putting up a fight too. But don't exhaust yourself initially fighting the intruder, know that it's here to stay for a while.

Don't let the murkiness consume you or drive you into self-pity. Let the sadness take its time. Don't rush Please don't rush my love. Don't be hasty looking for happiness amidst the sadness. Don't let it consume you. Just let it be. Try if you can but it will take its take so let it be.

"When there is great pain, there are only three rules: not to push the pain away, not to try to understand it, and not to indulge in it...Make yourself as open as a young tree caught in a storm. Let the storm bend you at its will, do not resist it, do not argue with it either- how could one argue with the wind and the rain?- and never ever feel sorry for yourself.”

Comments

2007

i visited my old house today. i think it was the only place i called home with all my heart but maybe that was because that's all i knew back then. i forced my tears back as i found the hole in the backyard wall, i had found a lizard's egg in there once and had been excited for an entire week, i could still trace out the cracks on the footpath outside the gate because i cycled on it for years trying to keep the wheel on the line. the orange tree that baba planted is now almost 10ft tall and the other tree that our old gardner planted is now double the size. the new residents are not taking care of the lawn very well, the lokaat tree is uprooted and there are no flowering plants. there is a small bench where we had our dhaniya and podina leaves the sky was too pretty today and a strong wind blew as i entered the gate, almost like i was in the middle of a movie the neighbor's gate which was our makeshift swing is now gone but the flowers i used as veggies in pretend play...

j u n e

Ever since I met you, I walk with my heart in one hand and an ancient dagger in the other. Blood dripping off, leaving marks, they'd be tough to wash faint rusty stains will linger forever if not crimson and the brown tint will also float amidst the hazel sea --------------------- I don't recognize the figure that stares back at me in the mirror anymore so many lies lies and lies --------------------- I drew my old home today tried to transfer everything on paper because I am forgetting the details details of the only building I called home with all my heart the heart that I carry in my hand now with blood dripping I think some of the details dripped there as I made room for the details of your existence I couldn't remember how long the window from the dining room to the courtyard was and which shelf were the books on was it the middle one or the last one I think there was a vase with pink flowers in the middle one like the flowers growing...

maze

stay. sit with me let me love you wholeheartedly today, under the sky with the 22nd moon. let me tell u how i'm renaming things, changing meanings My hands smell of garlic, green chilies, and my moisturizer. funny how artificial soups and handwash liquids cant overpower the natural fragrances. Let's sit on the terrace today or maybe on the couch and keep the windows open. ill tell you about the new eye pencil i used today. it's so bad it smudged under my eyes by the time i came back home, making me look more tired than i already was. I'll make u chaye and make some green tea for myself. I'll wear my favorite socks yes i know it's hot for socks now but i dont care i hope u don't as well. "have you ever been to the beach?" "yes but not the one at home. wo shehr nahi pasand" tell me about your day. how was the traffic and the new restaurant you tried? do you like when your pillow smells like your shampoo or is it too familiar now? were the...

patronus

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