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j u n e



Ever since I met you, I walk with my heart in one hand and an ancient dagger in the other. 

Blood dripping off, leaving marks, they'd be tough to wash

faint rusty stains will linger forever if not crimson

and the brown tint will also float amidst the hazel sea

---------------------

I don't recognize the figure that stares back at me in the mirror anymore

so many lies 

lies and lies

---------------------

I drew my old home today

tried to transfer everything on paper 

because I am forgetting the details 

details of the only building I called home with all my heart 

the heart that I carry in my hand now

with blood dripping 

I think some of the details dripped there

as I made room for the details of your existence 


I couldn't remember how long the window from the dining room to the courtyard was

and which shelf were the books on 

was it the middle one or the last one

I think there was a vase with pink flowers in the middle one

like the flowers growing in my chest, where my heart once was 

the place is empty because I carry my heart in my hand now but I have told you that already right sorry my bad

the two grey water tanks in the corner, what color were the taps?


and where did I keep my bicycle? in the courtyard or the storeroom

I think it stayed in the storeroom only when it rained 

to keep the rust away 

and they'll be rusty stains anyway

after you'll leave

after I'll wash the crimson blotches off

after I'll make peace with the stranger staring back in the mirror 

------------------

everything tastes like blood and dirt

I think my mouth is infected 


the healer narrates the story to this day 

his fragrance was the medicine that she refused to take 

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