It weighs heavy on my chest like a pile of bricks
and a dark night around me. It keeps coming back like a boomerang hitting me
harder than before, discrete yet stronger than the last time. It often drains
me of all my energy. Robs me of all my determination to move on and submit. I
am an amalgam of anguish and strength. I am twilight, the stir of lively
evenings and sad sunsets. I’m autumn as well, a blend of bright summers and the approaching cold.
I am all this but I am also myself, my vivid self, who stays put no matter what. and I sometimes think if all of this happened to add more colors to my emotional
spectrum? to make me understand the coexistence of so many contradictions?
Ever since I met you, I walk with my heart in one hand and an ancient dagger in the other. Blood dripping off, leaving marks, they'd be tough to wash faint rusty stains will linger forever if not crimson and the brown tint will also float amidst the hazel sea --------------------- I don't recognize the figure that stares back at me in the mirror anymore so many lies lies and lies --------------------- I drew my old home today tried to transfer everything on paper because I am forgetting the details details of the only building I called home with all my heart the heart that I carry in my hand now with blood dripping I think some of the details dripped there as I made room for the details of your existence I couldn't remember how long the window from the dining room to the courtyard was and which shelf were the books on was it the middle one or the last one I think there was a vase with pink flowers in the middle one like the flowers growing...

Big wowww.. it's gonna be my forever fvrt 💕
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