It weighs heavy on my chest like a pile of bricks
and a dark night around me. It keeps coming back like a boomerang hitting me
harder than before, discrete yet stronger than the last time. It often drains
me of all my energy. Robs me of all my determination to move on and submit. I
am an amalgam of anguish and strength. I am twilight, the stir of lively
evenings and sad sunsets. I’m autumn as well, a blend of bright summers and the approaching cold.
I am all this but I am also myself, my vivid self, who stays put no matter what. and I sometimes think if all of this happened to add more colors to my emotional
spectrum? to make me understand the coexistence of so many contradictions?
tonight I'd like to step out of my body. place it gently on a couch and cover it with a soft blanket. then id like to sit on a rock by the sea. with ' dancing with your ghost' playing in the background, i'll write you a letter. i will finally feel free of the consequences of my hasty decisions I stay up all night Tell myself I'm alright Baby, you're just harder to see than most i will start by telling you that i meant every word i said, i said it because i felt it in the moment. I will once again compliment the shade of your skin before realizing i am doing it again. Every night I'm dancing with your ghost Every night I'm dancing with your ghost i will finally tell you that i am choking on all the love i have for you and that i want to be free again. i will write about how i want to have fewer things to worry about, a tear or two will drop and smudge some ink on the paper Never got the chance To say a last goodbye I gotta move on But it hurts to try I...

Big wowww.. it's gonna be my forever fvrt 💕
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