BARRIER

 You know when you're travelling and you have to look for hotels at the end of the day or whenever you travel to a new city in case you're out for more than a couple of days or weeks and no matter how comfortable the room is or how pretty the view is, you still miss your home. Home. Feel this word, its aroma and warmth, no matter how exhausting it gets, its still your home, a place you're sure about, a place you can go back to no matter what. home. a place you know will always be there for you. 

I always thought it to be very cliché when people made homes out of other people. 

"this person is my home"

nausea. 

"my home is that person"

nausea.

But today, on a motorway between two unknown cities, i needed a person i could call my home, the thought was preceded by anger at first then some nausea of course, my go to emotion at things that are cliché, some sad hollow feeling and finally some heartache.

So I ran through the list of the people who could qualify for that place, not like a permanent homey person but like the person I could rant to at that time. 

The name that suited best caught me by surprise. I didn't know he had the power to be recalled by me at such a weak moment. (yep that sounds rude. that's me) I didn't know I'd want to text him when things would go wrong or when I'll be exhausted. 

I dont think he's my home. definitely not.no way. ew. nausea. but in that moment I knew he'd be the best listener but of course I didn't text him.

I do believe in the possibility of moments defining your life but I'll deliberately separate this one. It doesn't define anything. It just shows that he's been too kind to me for too long and he's been patient about it and I didn't know it until today.