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BREAK FREE

I know I have mild commitment and trust issues and honestly, I have always looked at them as my shield but today I realized that I cant survive in the vicinity of controlling people as well and believe me so many things started to make sense. My suffering relationship with some of my family members and a few friends despite the constant effort by the two of us. I realized it was because they were controlling. Unconsciously, they want me to be the way they want good people to be, their standards of what is right as if I sort of belong to them. I understand that when you are close to someone, they have the right to tell you what's right and what's wrong but they don't get to blame you if you decide not to take their advice or do things that look right to you only.

 I was constantly looking for the fault in myself, trying to be more and more accepting of the differences I had with those people in an attempt to save those relationships and it was making things worse. You know what they say about talking helps, it really does. We assume that when we talk to someone they will give us some advice or something that will make things okay but in reality when you talk to someone, you're actually talking to your own self and getting it all out, only if you trust the person completely obviously.

So I was talking to a friend today about this issue and as I was explaining things to her, things started to make sense, and I realized the core of the problem.

I cant get controlled. It suffocates me. I get so irritated when someone comes in the way of my growth just because the route is not the one that they will take.

I think I got this so-called spoilt free-soul attitude from of my parents and how much space they give me and honesty this is the reason that I always respect and listen to them from all my heart. I don't know how I plan on living the rest of my life with this is so-called 'free soul' attitude but I ain't letting anybody tell me what to do or be salty if I don't fit their standards and definitions.



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