Skip to main content

History.


For my non-biological sister!


I know it feels like leaving a piece of yourself behind and even the shabbiest of walls make you sad because you have memories with it; memories of 14th August flaglets or of eid photoshoots. The bathroom has seen you the most vulnerable, has seen you cry. The sitting room has witnessed you enter the house with sparkling eyes and screaming words because of your successes over the course of the last 13 years spend at that place. I know it's scary and sad. It even makes you weak at places; in the stomach, and a little in the legs. at least that's where I feel my sadness.

Just hang in there and know that our houses are a little more closer now and maybe we can see each other more often. and that it's a new beginning and it'll bring so so many more beautiful memories because that's what life is at the end of the day and eventually home is where your heart is right? and where 'your' people are. With the right people, you can make a home out of any place and before you know it, you will be at home and at peace at the place that looked so foreign, so new at the beginning.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

j u n e

Ever since I met you, I walk with my heart in one hand and an ancient dagger in the other.  Blood dripping off, leaving marks, they'd be tough to wash faint rusty stains will linger forever if not crimson and the brown tint will also float amidst the hazel sea --------------------- I don't recognize the figure that stares back at me in the mirror anymore so many lies  lies and lies --------------------- I drew my old home today tried to transfer everything on paper  because I am forgetting the details  details of the only building I called home with all my heart  the heart that I carry in my hand now with blood dripping  I think some of the details dripped there as I made room for the details of your existence  I couldn't remember how long the window from the dining room to the courtyard was and which shelf were the books on  was it the middle one or the last one I think there was a vase with pink flowers in the middle one like the flowers growing...

2007

i visited my old house today. i think it was the only place i called home with all my heart but maybe that was because that's all i knew back then. i forced my tears back as i found the hole in the backyard wall, i had found a lizard's egg in there once and had been excited for an entire week,  i could still trace out the cracks on the footpath outside the gate because i cycled on it for years trying to keep the wheel on the line. the orange tree that baba planted is now almost 10ft tall and the other tree that our old gardner planted is now double the size.  the new residents are not taking care of the lawn very well, the lokaat tree is uprooted and there are no flowering plants. there is a small bench where we had our dhaniya and podina leaves  the sky was too pretty today and a strong wind blew as i entered the gate, almost like i was in the middle of a movie the neighbor's gate which was our makeshift swing is now gone but the flowers i used as veggies in pretend play...

all the unfinished pieces from last few months!

damp roads after autumn rains and the memories of everything calm. the thought of getting older. the night i broke your heart. i don't regret it but i think of you every time my heart hurts. adat instrumental plays in the background rn. how do you feel about adult life?  -------------------------------- i am trying to wear eyeliner even on days when my eyebrows are not done and wear extra rings even when my hands are not waxed. its difficult, i haven't been able to convince myself but i am trying to love my body even on days when it doesn't really fulfill society's beauty standards. ----------------------------------------- when you have lived in more than one place, be it a sleepover at a friend's or someone's heart or an actual non-metaphorical house made of concrete walls, you will always long for more. sometimes it will be the people you love, other times it will be material things, the peace and the quiet. ---------------------------------------------------...