I sometimes think about the person who possessed the weapon which was the reason your heart stopped beating. Not for revenge or anything but I wonder about the capabilities of Sapiens. Your heart. Alive and warm. came to halt. Your blood stopped running in your veins. No more nerve impulses. No more love no more happiness. No more Sadness. How can someone just stop existing? I don't think you can cease to exist just by the mere act of dying. You continue to exist in the hearts of your loved ones and when those hearts stop beating, you are passed onto another generation. The legacy continues. This is probably the reason you find connections with things and places you thought you were a complete stranger to.
i visited my old house today. i think it was the only place i called home with all my heart but maybe that was because that's all i knew back then. i forced my tears back as i found the hole in the backyard wall, i had found a lizard's egg in there once and had been excited for an entire week, i could still trace out the cracks on the footpath outside the gate because i cycled on it for years trying to keep the wheel on the line. the orange tree that baba planted is now almost 10ft tall and the other tree that our old gardner planted is now double the size. the new residents are not taking care of the lawn very well, the lokaat tree is uprooted and there are no flowering plants. there is a small bench where we had our dhaniya and podina leaves the sky was too pretty today and a strong wind blew as i entered the gate, almost like i was in the middle of a movie the neighbor's gate which was our makeshift swing is now gone but the flowers i used as veggies in pretend play...
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