I fear attachments, anything that makes me weak or
vulnerable. I’m too afraid to fall in love because I think when you fall in
love with someone, you make room in yourself to be filled by their pieces,
their habits and their existence and when they leave, you can do nothing but
stare into the voids and think about the old times when you were so strong because
your happiness wasn’t dependent on someone’s presence. You were enough for yourself
back then.
Then sometimes I think love gives you all the power that you
lacked before. Your dependency on another human makes you stronger, a little
more humane than before and a little kinder.
I don’t know the answers for this conflict but I know I’m
too weak to confess and I will look for excuses forever.
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