106 days now its one of those days i undress take off everything that keeps me going everything that helps me mask my self-esteem-shawl my confidence-cardigan my chirpy-socks smiling moisturizer coat of lies warm lip balm . . . i take to all off one by one slowly I sit on the floor carpeted no i'll sit on the marbled floor i'll on footprints today as I suffer from decade-old faded footprints of others no its not suffering it is what the reality is don't try and make it look like an exception! it's normal everything is normal i'll let the heater burn me simultaneously as the cold floor takes away all my warmth you cannot love me back to life the tiny door-to-life in the kitchen also vanished today I am so cold ill be dead any minute only if this damned heart stops beating the clothes wont be hung to be used later but they'll be thrown in trash ill melt into nothingness today we don't talk about it but its there...