patronus

 

ammi baba k kamry mein ek couch hai. wahan sardiyon mein almost asr k time, khirki sy bohat pyari dhoop ati hai. sardiyon ki shaam ki jati jati thandi sunehri dhoop! ye wo time huta hai jab terrace or chattt sy dhoop almost khatam hu jati hai. wo dhoop jo mein aksar apni online classes ki waja sy miss kar dete thi. tu mein classes k baad aksar us couch py lait jati thi.bht maza ata tha. class ki thakawat almost khatam hu jati thi.  Lekin pta nahi kia baat hai mere koi tasveer wahan kabhi achi nahi ayi. ye baat mery is yaqeen ko or b pukhta kar dete hai k zindagi k bahtareen lamhy or jaghein kabhi camera mein kaid nahi huty, unki exclusive coverage zehen mein huti hai bas. khaas. bht khaas.

It's very calming to know that even if we lose contact with the people we care for, they still exist, not in our lives, but they're still there and maybe, sometimes the thought of our existence crosses their mind even though we are not together anymore and we pretend to ignore each other's existence. We still have the possibility of running into each other one day and the hope of figuring ways of being together again. I don't know if it's being toxic or being hopeful but I do know that there are people out there who are surviving on this hope.  " It is the possibility of having a dream come true that makes life interesting”  

: دو تین سال پہلے کی بات ہے میں کہیں سے کافی تھکی ہوئی واپس آئی توویسے ہی بیٹھے بیٹھے  بابا سے کہہ دیا کہ آج  بہت تھکی ہوئی ہوں صرف فرض پڑھوں گی   بابا کہنے لگے" اسکے فرض پڑھ رہی ہو تو اس کے محبوب کی سنّت بھی پڑھ لو" میں اس دن ک بعد سے نماز پڑھتی ہوں توسنّت چھوڑنے کی ہمّت نہیں ہوتی

The other day, when I took my nieces and nephews to the nearby park, an old man in a wheelchair came with a couple of young kids. They were all around 9 to 11 years old max. I thought they were using the park as a shortcut as most of the people of the colony do cause the park has two gates and it provides a short alternate route for a couple of streets. I didn't pay much attention cause I had kids to look after but after a while, I noticed that they all went to the end of the park and started playing cricket! The old man who was probably their grandfather was balling and the rest of the kids were either batting or fielding. It was such a wholesome sight that it literally made my day. I wished I had taken my phone with me so that I could take a picture of them but I think that's the things about the best moments in life, you're never able to catch them on camera but they stay on the slate of your mind always and you use it to fill the void in your heart. It was a delightful ...

:  کسی کا رب چھوٹ جائے یا کسی کا یار روٹھ جائے  بھیڑ میں اپنے کھو جائیں یا گھر گم ہو جائے کسی کے لیے بہت خاص کسی کے لئےعام سا  بھیڑ میں ایک اجنبی چہرہ جو بہت اپنا  سا لگے  بہت مشکل دن ک بعد ایک سکون  کی سانس لے  کے  پلنگ پر گر جانا  زندگی کی دوڑ میں خود سے  تھوڑا پیچھے رہ جانا  اور کبھی کبھی بھاگ بھاگ کر بھی ہار جانا  کسی کو بن مانگے سب مل جائے اور کوئی مانگ مانگ کے  تھک جائے  دل میں ایک دعا کہ  ایسا کوئی اور دن نہ ہو  خوا ئشوں کا اپنی تکمیل کے بعد اپنی اہمیت کھو دینا  !!بس ایسی ہی ہے زندگی 

I am immune to a lot of stuff at this point. Things that used to cause havoc in my life don't even bother me anymore. I don't know if I've stopped feeling stuff or I've become so strong that I am at peace with most of the stuff that is happening around me. good or bad. I don't protest, I don't cry, there is just a few quiet moments of silence and stillness and puff gone. Hours and hours of stale continuation of time. I don't want to check my phone. I reply even to important texts and mails after days. I hate my social media accounts. I want to throw my phone away. I want to go away. I don't feel sad anymore, nothing makes me happy. I  leave books midway even if I like them at the start. I don't know. I want to scream and I want time. 2 weeks or at least a week to catch up with all the due work. To sit idle for once at least and know that there is nothing that I have to do. no deadline to meet.